Problems At Work
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Q: I have a job that is very rewarding and
it feels as though this is where God intends me to be right now. I have the opportunity to contribute to the better welfare
of many people in a way that utilizes my talents in a fulfilling way. The problem I face is that the organization has been
downsized, and now I'm left to do the combined work of several people who had historically performed this work. Additionally,
there is a fair degree of dysfunction at levels above me in the organization and this often impacts my daily efforts. I've
reached a place where this job is eating up most of my energy and other areas of my life are suffering. I'm also feeling physical
symptoms and am wondering about the long term effects upon my health. Do you have any thoughts about how I can improve the
situation?
Do you have an answer to this question?
A: This job is offering you a wonderful opportunity
for growth and change and there are many things that you can learn from this experience.
First, as we have stated many times, you will
need to center yourself within yourself. This job is going to teach you this, how to set aside the time you need for yourself
and yet still manage to do what needs to be done. You will learn through it marvelous skills of
organization as well as
how to directly deal with people and their dysfunctional ways. You will grow and yet stay healthy, because you will learn
healthy coping mechanisms for change and for dealing with issues. And during all of this, you will also be helping people,
as you are blessed to do in this job. Ah, how fortunate you are!
But for now, you need to build up the skills
necessary to cope with the situation.
First, remember to set aside at least 15 minutes
each morning for your own quiet time. Remember that the more hectic the situation is, the more demands there are on your time,
the more important this quiet time is. You will probably find it useful to write in a journal each day, just two or three
stream-of-consciousness pages to release the pent-up energies. Write anything and everything you wish. Start writing and do
not stop writing until you have filled three pages. Then either close the journal or throw out the pages. It does not matter.
It is the writing exercise, the releasing, that counts.
Then breathe yourself down to a quiet place and
ask any question you may need to ask. If there is someone who is particularly difficult to deal with, then you will want to
ask: How shall I approach him? And then quickly jot down the answer that comes, the words which pop into your mind. And during
the day, when you have to deal with him, look at what you wrote down and experiment with following these instructions instead
of responding in your old ways.
And as you practice this technique, you will
find that you are able to quickly check in before meetings with difficult people. Just find a quiet place, such as the bathroom
or a patio, breathe down and ask: how shall I approach this meeting? And then jot down the
answer and follow the instructions
when the time comes. Practice this and you will build your skills at tapping into others' emotional states and being able
to deal with them just as they are.
Then you will also need to observe yourself as
from afar and see how you interact with them. You will want to build up skills which allow you to say what needs to be said,
very directly and clearly, but while allowing them to maintain their positions of power. You will learn how to do this by
experimenting in styles of communication while watching yourself and them closely during the exchange. You will learn methods
to quiet your beating heart and step out and try new ways of interacting. And as time goes on, this new ability to state things
very directly, without apology and hedging, yet maintaining a tone of respect, will take you far, very far indeed. Combine
this with the extra direction you receive from your little check-in, both in the morning and just before meeting with someone,
and you will become very powerful in ways which count.
And what is power? It is not having a big office
or title. It is being able to achieve what you wish to achieve. This is power. And if what you do helps other people, it is
very important for you to gain power, so that you can do the work which needs to be done.
Remember this and do not allow
the others who are posing at power undermine your real power to achieve and accomplish.
And now to the next lesson, which is an important
one indeed. You need to learn prioritization and letting go. You need to take the perfectionist in you and set her aside.
You will need to learn to do things at a higher level, often letting go of the little details you once spent so much time
on. Let go and do only what is truly important, even if this means letting go of a few things which were close to your heart.
Look at what you are trying to accomplish, look at the bigger picture of what needs to be done to help those you have the
power to help, and then let go of the little things which eat up your life.
Again, watch yourself from afar. See how you
spend your time. Step back for a moment from the pressures others put on you and the pressure you put on yourself in your
drive to perfectionism, and ask: What is truly vital here? What is the most important thing that I must do? And then do only
that.
And then, you may also step back and think creatively.
Apparently they do not have the money they once did. Some time when you have more quiet time, allow yourself to ask: What
are some ways I can get help? And see what answers you get. Perhaps you could organize volunteers to do some of the things
which need to be done. Perhaps there are other people who could pick up some of the work. If you give yourself the quiet time
as well as the close observation of the situation, you will come up with wonderful ideas.
And then, before you present these to your superiors
for approval, be sure to check in and ask: How shall I present these ideas? And as you do so, remember that true power is
in accomplishing what you wish to accomplish, not in recognition. Remember this and if your check-in tells you to allow them
to take the credit for the idea, then do so, carrying within you the knowledge of your own power, that you actually helped
where helping was needed and have found ways to move things how you wish to have them move. This is power indeed.
And the last thing you will need to do is draw
boundaries around your world and hold to them. Just as you will draw boundaries around your quiet time, demanding it from
work and family because it is the foundation of all the rest, you will also draw boundaries around your work, boundaries such
as not working longer than a certain amount of time or not taking work home and imposing it upon the rest of your life. You
need to decide what you can do, how much time you will spend, and then prioritize activities within that time, not allowing
the work to stretch out beyond what you have decided upon.
And if you cannot do everything, even with all
of your creative ideas, even with good prioritization and letting-go techniques, then you will need to go to your superiors
and tell them that it simply cannot be done. There is too much work and you need help. And you
will use that way you have
learned of speaking directly and clearly, without apology and without whining, just stating the facts. I have done this. I
do this. Here is a list of all of the work I do and the time it takes me. And here is my recommendation for the work which
another person could do and the amount of time it would take them.
And then let it be their problem. Stick to your
boundaries, do what you can do, and let them deal with the rest.
And above all, as you do all of this, do not
feel sorry for yourself. This is wonderful growing. This is like being in a garden where the very problems which appear to
surround you are fertilizing your growth. You can learn to thrive here.
And someday, you may feel that it is time to
leave. Someday, when you have learned how to do everything, when you have built up your skills and experience, you may decide
that you can exercise all of your new-found power more effectively somewhere else, away from these people. You will have learned
what you needed to learn and now you can go somewhere else and truly exercise your power in highly effective ways.
And if you continue your morning practices, you
will know when this time is here, for it will come to you one day in one of your question and answer sessions. One day, the
answer to how to approach a situation will be to accept the other offer from another group. If that is the right thing to
do, you will know it.
But for now, give thanks each day for the growing
opportunities. Remember to live inside out, drawing strength from your own center and expanding from that, not allowing the
pressures from outside to eat down into you.
You will do well indeed.
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