Sex & Blame









































































































Your questions.. Sri Sri answers..
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Q: How do I overcome and move beyond the physical desires?
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Sri
Sri Ravi Shankar: It depends on what is your age. If you are a teenager
or just out of teenage, then it is quite but natural. There is nothing
you can do about it. Keep yourself busy. If you have too much free
time, only sex will occupy the mind. Have you noticed in your exam
times, or when you are too busy, or you have to take a challenge, or
you are going on a sports trip, or when your mind is occupied and
engaged, then sex is not a big issue, it is not so compelling. But when
you are too free, that is when it takes over the seat. Now, sex is not
bad, but the obsession is horrible. One type of sex is when you try to
satisfy, and if you do not get satisfied, there is another type that
starts happening. So many different distortions and tendencies would
come up in the mind. The best thing is to do pranayama. Pranayama
helps. Then, watching your food will help. If you eat too much, so much
energy is there, and it needs an outlet to go somewhere. And if you are
not creative, then it definitely takes the other route. So, a little
bit say on the food. It is said if you cannot control your tongue, you
can never control your genitals, because your tongue and genitals are
connected. Sex and food are very much linked. So, your obsession can be
controlled if your food is lighter and moderate in amount. Pranayama
can help you to control excessive tendencies. Music and dance will
help. Some creative art, painting, writing story, and appreciating
beauty will help.
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When you are more happy, inclination towards sex is less. But if you
are miserable, restless and unhappy then inclination towards sex is
much more. So, by all these things and keeping yourself busy, you can
sail through the tough time. Because when you indulge in it, later on
you don’t like it, and not going into sex makes you completely nuts.
So, you are in a limbo sort of state. This is very difficult in teenage
time; there is no way out of it other than keeping someone very very
busy.And then the middle age crisis! I am analyzing all these different
age groups when one has to overcome these hurdles. Still, if none of
these works, just wait for the time. As you grow older, it will simply
disappear. You know, time will take care of it. When you are 60, 70 or
may be 80, sometime it has to drop of you. Mind, sometime, will become
cool. At least then, something will wake up from within.
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Guruji's Knowledge Sheet: Dealing With Blame
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 When someone blames you, what do you usually do? Blame them back or you put up resistance in yourself. When someone blames you, they actually take away some negative karma from you. If you understand this and don't put up resistance and feel happy about it, then you drop your resistance. "Oh, good. That person is blaming me. Good. Something is going away." And when you drop the resistance, your karma goes away. Do you see what I'm saying?
 So when someone blames you and you put up resistance in your mind, and you don't react, then you are not allowing them to take the negative karma. Outside you may resist, but inside if you don't resist, and feel happy, "Oh, good, somebody is there to blame me and take some negative karma," you will feel immediately lighter.
 How does it feel to you when someone blames you? Do you feel some heaviness? Usually, when someone blames you, you feel hurt and you feel unhappy, you feel sad. This is all because you're . . . resisting. That is it. What you resist, persists. The ignorant person tells someone, "Don't blame me because it hurts me."
 An enlightened person also says "Don't blame me." Do you know why? Because it might hurt you. This is a beautiful point. What are the points? You get hurt because you resist the blame. When someone blames you, you resist it inside. Outside you may not resist, but inside when you resist, then that hurts you.
 An ignorant person warns you, "You better not hurt me, you better not blame me because I will feel hurt." Someone warns you not to blame them because it will hurt them and they'll do something harmful to you out of revenge.
 An enlightened person says "Don't blame me because it will hurt you." So here you say, don't blame because of compassion. You can tell someone, don't blame me out of compassion, or you can say it out of anger.
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- Sri Sri