Special Session #12 – Transcending Death and Grief – May 7, 2010

Teacher:      Monjoronson

Moderator:  Vicki Vanderheyden

 

Topics:

Transcending loss due to death

Message from beyond the veil

Grasping the reality of death

An opportunity for Monjoronson to understand human emotions

“What’s next” after a profound loss?

Preparation for the death of many

Special relationship bonds in the afterlife

Does God only give us as much as we can handle?

Are we given protection during these difficulties?

Gaining insight about the complexity and simplicity of living

Assisting others to face their challenges

Do the deceased experience sorrow?

The passage from mortal consciousness to morontial consciousness

Does one choose the time of death?

Energetic bonds of shared consciousness between loved ones

Harmful beliefs of spiritism are detrimental to spiritual growth

Social grieving is necessary, but should not be taken to extremes

Turning sorrows to remembrances of joy

Giving and receiving with grace

Stress is caused by living in the past or the future, rather than in the ‘now’

Dealing with negative emotions

Plans to aid humans during cataclysms and deaths

Need for humor at tragic times

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” (Khalil Gibran)

May 7, 2010

 

Vicki:  Dear Father, we gather today in recognition of the love, guidance and generosity you give to us.  And we ask once again, that you surround us and encircuit us with truth and light, as we seek the wisdom and foresight of our Magisterial Son, Monjoronson.  May this session provide comfort and insight to our fellow brothers and sisters.  We extend our gratitude to Christ Michael, Nebadonia and all unseen friends who assist us in this journey.  Amen.

 

[Note to readers:  Our moderator, Vicki, experienced the death of her husband, Michael, two days after Special Session #11 took place.  We thank her for her courage to continue these sessions during her time of sorrow.]

 

Transcending loss due to death

 

Vicki:  I would like to start, Monjoronson, with a few words to you, and a statement about the intention of this session.

 

Dear Monjoronson, you have gently reached down to me and extended the hand of guidance and preparation for events not only in the life of our audience, but in my own personal life, and I am deeply grateful to you for this. What was once an awkward and surreal experiment of sessions, now feels more like a conversation with a wise and dear friend.  These are vulnerable, delicate times for me, but I am feeling that if I open my heart to you, that others may benefit in the future, if they too experience such a profound loss.  So, I am approaching you this session with an opportunity to assist us, with perhaps a deeper understanding of this period of time, following death for both the deceased and the living, I would like to have the option of determining what becomes public record and what may be withheld as our private conversation.  I did not research, so I may be asking questions that have already been answered.  I ask for you to excuse me on this, this time.  If you agree to this, I would appreciate some guidance in this direction.

 

MONJORONSON:  Good morning, this is Monjoronson.  I definitely offer you the opportunity to discern and determine what is included in the published transcript and what is not.  It is your choice and it is a choice which we respect and abide by.  The information that others need to hear will be shared, and that which is for you [alone] will be shared with you.  You have my sincere condolences, my support and my love for you, as you go through this time.  You see, dear one, that our message is for all of earth and its population, and for each individual, as you are now experiencing, that this transposes from the general to the specific, from the global population to you individually, and this truly is the message of Christ Michael, and that this work that we do would be for nothing if one person were lost, or deceived by it.  So our utmost effort is to appeal to the individual, to the truth, and to the transcending truth, that abides by each individual along their ascendant journey.

 

Vicki:  I do understand this, and I have felt throughout the sessions, with every topic, I was taken deeper within for my own personal growth.  To be honest, it’s why for a time, I avoided a few topics.  Actually, there is no sense in avoiding, because what will be, will be, I believe.  Am I right?

 

MONJORONSON:  You are most correct, that you are a unique individual, but the facts of life that occur in your life, occur in the lives of others as well, and throughout the population of 7 billion people, there are so many commonalities, that there is no need for embarrassment or for chagrin about your foibles, as they are suffered by most people, already.

 

Message from beyond the veil

 

Vicki:  Thank you for that.  I guess I feel like I’m putting you on the spot here, but of course you know I always respect what you wish to share and what you cannot.  My first question is:  Have you talked to my husband, Monjoronson?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, I have, and it was an indeed a pleasure to speak with him, and to behold him.  He has learned a great deal from his association in life with you, and this has been a tremendous augmentation to his life, and has given him a head start, or advanced class credits, as you might say.

 

Vicki:  Okay, and I feel as I have from the very beginning that he is in the most loving, best care… so thank you for that.  (You are welcome.) 

 

Monjoronson, when I talked to Michael these last couple weeks, there would be moments when I would talk to my deceased husband, can he hear me?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, he can hear you, not as your voice, but as your presence.  You are attempting to speak through the morontial consciousness, and you have a “partial vocabulary” for that, and an inherent capacity as you have grown and ascended in your mortal lifetime, and your mortal consciousness.

 

Grasping the reality of death

 

Vicki:  Okay.  I realize that this journey of grief and loss for my husband has just begun, and indeed I have not yet fully grasped its reality.  Can you help me with this?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, I would be glad to, as well as Christ Michael and Nebadonia.  We are “here with you”—not just “for you”—but “with you.”  We are a presence among you, and that is how we wish to be, and I eventually will be among you in the flesh.  So this practice of being “with you” in consciousness and in presence as an energetic form gives me opportunity to more fully become acquainted with you and all others, and for you to begin to understand and know me and feel my presence.

 

Vicki:  I certainly feel that.  I feel that you have been with me through this whole experience of my loss.  I have seen your colors, which often tell me of your presence and I am very grateful.

 

An opportunity of Monjoronson to understand human emotions

 

MONJORONSON:  It has given me an opportunity to vicariously become more real in myself as a becoming mortal.  My descension is becoming more complete, as I fully integrate and understand the emotions that you feel of loss and grief, and of love and endearment, and commitment.  These are learning environments and learning venues for me to appreciate, and to what you might say, “practice,” for my eventual appearance.

 

 “What’s next” after a profound loss?

 

Vicki:  Okay.  I feel honored to be part of this, Monjoronson.  I’m going to ask my darkest question, to get it over with:  I’ve had times in the past two weeks, when I wanted my life on earth to be taken too.  I cannot imagine living here without him, and yet, unlike my husband, whose work was done, I sense that my work is not yet done here.  So I’m going to ask the question my dearly beloved friend, Daniel asks, and that is “What’s next, Monjoronson?”

 

MONJORONSON:  “What’s next” has already begun and engaged by yourself.  You have courageously, thoughtfully, “engaged our conversation.”  Our conversation through these dialogs, through these question and answer special sessions, and you have begun to move ahead.  We knew of this coming event of your husband for some time, and your positioning and intelligence and education offered itself tremendously to this conversation, these dialogs that we have.  “What’s next” has actually begun before his passage.  You are already on the way to the rest of your life’s career and your service.  You have been led through these conversations of dealing with hospice and near death experiences, and the passage of death and dying that it presents.  You were prepared for this and we have used this experience in your life for the education of all people who read these and hear these transcripts. 

 

You were not “used,” but you were a definite implement in our toolbox of education for all of those who have and are and will experience the passage of a dear one.  It is essential that you and all others who will face this—as certainly all of you will—that death is simply a passage and that it is very personal when it is a loved one, as you have experienced.  It will also become grossly personal when you have communities beside you who crossover simultaneously, due to disasters or cataclysms.  These things you are unprepared for; we are assisting you with the “personal,” because this is most intimate to you and everyone else. 

 

Preparation for the death of many

 

The passage of many simultaneously, as has occurred recently in the last few years in New Orleans and the Southern Coast of the United States, and in Haiti, and in Chile, Indonesia, Pakistan, and the other places of tremendous geophysical tragedies.  You have not a feeling for that yet here, in these United States, though you must be prepared for this, as you must know that our work with you is to prepare you for that.  We have warned you generally of the cataclysms to come, and so we would not be good teachers if we did not prepare you for this personally and publicly. 

 

“What’s next,” is very clear:  I have spoken to you about this in the manuscript entitled, “Planetary Management and Global Sustainability,” (May 2007) which this one compiled and edited for us.  [It is available atwww.starbridgetrust.org . Click on “Articles.”]  We are preparing you for this; we as Planetary Managers and Administrators, would be negligent if we did not do so.  The end result, dear one, is that you are far better prepared for the future, now, because of this, than without, and that the world’s population will be prepared as well.  Many will not prepare themselves but continue to live blithely as the summer roses and flowers bloom, never knowing the harshness of winter and death.

 

Special relationship bonds in the afterlife

 

Vicki:  Thank you.  There are certain things, Monjoronson, that have been imprinted in my mind, through my life, and a couple I’m struggling with—and I think they’re common sayings—so I’d like to share them and my reactions to them for the audience.  One is:  “We entered this life alone, and in turn, we leave it alone.”  Now that I realize that my earthly life with my husband, Michael, has ended, I struggle with the finality and the meaning of these words.  I wonder, what will become of this relationship in our ascendant career?  How will we relate to one another on the other side, so to speak?  And I feel tremendous loss, and though I know our lives will go on, will there still be this marriage, this connection, this same bond that we felt for one another on earth, or will it be different?

 

MONJORONSON:  It will be similar, and it will be different, at the same time.  First of all, it will be a great reunion that you will have when you cross over and you are greeted by your loved ones.  After your “assembly” in the morontia receiving worlds, you will become part of an ascending class, of which your husband is a part now. Yes, you will have a special relationship, as there was a common shared history of memories and experiences, from which you both will learn and can draw on for your lessons in your classes in the mansion world schools. You will be classmates; you will be as though you were in a hallway in a high school, who are boyfriend/girlfriend; you will have that connection of oneness, of shared relationship.  You will have commonalities that are peculiar and special to the two of you, but nonetheless which are also shared by billions of others in the schools at that time, from their own lifetimes in their earthly experiences.  You will surely recognize each other, and your commitment for this lifetime has been complete; your commitment will be shared in the future for your life of ascendant being, and your commitment to your individual ascension plan, that is shared with others and to your joint gratefulness to Christ Michael for having made your lives possible.

 

Does God only give us as much as we can handle?

 

Vicki:  As a child, my mother used to say that, “Though at times we may feel overwhelmed with the challenges we face, that God only gives us as much as we can handle.”  Is this a true statement?

 

MONJORONSON:  Not entirely.  God has given you life and God has given you a fragment of itself as the Thought Adjuster, that Mystery Monitor, that Father Fragment that resides with you in all eternity.  There is an irony in this to some degree, that you determine what you can overcome and what you cannot, what you choose to engage, and what you do not choose to engage.  Many with tremendous capacity and capabilities refuse to engage challenges, which would bring them rapidly ahead in their spiritual, emotional and social growth.  What of them?  What of those?  And so, you dear one, by accepting many challenges, and not withering or withdrawing from them, you grow tremendously. 

 

The hazard is that eager souls may be too immature to overcome the challenges that they see before them, and which they accept to engage.  There are also lessons involved in that.  There are really no failures in life, only learned experiences of what works and what does not work.  You generally—all people—are usually far too harsh on themselves for their “failures,” whereas these are simply signs, symbols and omens that say, “not this way, not at this time.”  Surely God has given you—that is your Father, Christ Michael—has given you tremendous opportunities, through the creation of this world, and though there are tremendous difficulties which he did not plan for you, as in the Rebellion and withdrawal from commitment by your former Planetary Prince, Caligastia, and his staff, you are supported through all these. 

 

You—and when I say “you,” I mean all humankind—have been fraught with challenges, which were never planned for you individually, or as a civilization, that you must now come together within yourself as a person, to draw your resources together to overcome these challenges, and you collectively, as a nation and as a civilization, must also come draw your resources together to overcome the immense challenges which face your people on this world.  And, I am here to help you do that.

 

Are we given protection during these difficulties?

 

Vicki:  A surprising answer, but now I understand.  These last two weeks I feel something inside, holding me back from experiencing the magnitude of this loss.  There was momentum within me to be free of these financial roadblocks that we faced together, and I’ve pushed myself to resolve what I can.  My question is:  Is this a result of some unconscious protective mode in my mind, or am I indeed experiencing the protective influence of spirit beings?

 

MONJORONSON:  There are numerous protections being given to you at this time.  One is from your subconscious mind, which protects you from the tremendous avalanche of difficulties that you would have to face if you accepted them all at one time.  Yes, your guardian is there with you, assisting you in this and shielding you from the realities that have come about and will come about.  There is no need to face this avalanche in ‘one fell swoop;’ you would be overcome and yes, you would want to join your husband promptly. There is a need for the mind to accept these realities slowly, piecemeal, so that they can be overcome in time. 

 

The complemental constitution of mortals, the homo sapien species, is not sufficiently strong enough to thwart these challenges of your society, and what you have given yourself.  These must be done slowly, and so piece-by-piece, layer-by-layer, these realities are revealed to you to resolve one at a time.  You do not do this alone on the energetic level, and you do not need to do this alone on your social level, as you have family and friends who can assist you through these difficult times.  There are financial problems or social problems or family problems and these are really simply challenges.  You are challenged to resolve them.  Many times the attachments that people have in their life are those which must be dissolved, that it is time to move on, that some attachments last and some do not.  You have a beautiful home, which you and your husband constructed and built and designed and lived in and enjoyed for many years.  Perhaps this too must go, but do not be overcome or overawed by this challenge, as you have the most willing assistants of your guardian and the midwayers to assist in whatever process you choose to engage, at whatever time you want. 

 

There is no urgency on our part for you to overcome any of these challenges, but to work through them as gently as possible.  Your society and your culture have given you far, far, far too many complex issues and problems to overcome.  The complexities of your society become the obligations that must be removed upon such situations as this.  The more complex the society and the culture, the more difficult it becomes.  Know that you have support, know that we care, and know that we will assist you with ease and grace through this time.

 

Vicki:  Thank you for that, Monjoronson, and I have felt your presence along with the other spirit beings that have been with me and assisted me.  I know I’ve been prepared for a long time; I have surprisingly little fear—occasionally an overwhelming feeling, but I can see my growth in that respect.

 

Gaining insight about the complexity and simplicity of living

 

MONJORONSON:  By overcoming these problems and these situations, you will be strengthened, and you will be wizened.  You will gain an insight into the life of complexity and simplicity, and will be more able to consciously choose how you wish to live, and know what supports your life as a spiritual being who is growing.

 

Vicki:  And I also feel that this whole difficult period that Michael and I went through prior to his death as well, has really given me insight in terms of the changes that need to occur within the complex society of institutions that are oftentimes not very “serving,” I guess would be the word.  Would you agree with that?

 

MONJORONSON:  Oh, most heartily, yes.  Your society takes on a life of its own, as if it were a personification of some ego, and this is simply not true.  Individuals, such as you and your husband, oftentimes buy into these societal obligations, unwittingly, complicating their lives in ways that would not become apparent until the present.

 

Assisting others to face their challenges

 

Vicki:  I do want to say for the audience, that I truly believe through this experience, that my faith is carrying me.  And although I can’t envision it, I have a sense that there is a plan here, and that I think you’ve already mentioned, part of the plan is to develop my ability to empathize and understand and assist others as they face similar challenges in the future.  My next question was, “Is this part of the plan?” which I believe you’ve answered.  I don’t know if you’d like to add to that or not.

 

MONJORONSON:  I would like to expand upon that briefly.  Yes, you have gone through this time of difficulty; it is a time of learning.  How would you, if you were a spokesperson for a large community or large city that had suffered the loss of many thousands of people, assist those who remain, to proceed through this era, this time of loss, this time of grieving, this time of unprepared engagement with disaster?  It is a time to advise and comfort those who are going through loss, to grieve and grieve heartily, and begin to pick up the pieces and put back your lives.  For some, that will mean the loss of family members, plus the loss of their house, plus the loss of their business and employment.  This will be a time of immense loss, and so we must teach you how to engage in community building with forethought and preparation.  That is why we have begun to teach you about social sustainability, of how to reconstruct your families and communities, and your societies quickly, after disaster strikes.  It is important to get on with living, as this is the essence of why you are here, during this lifetime.

 

Vicki:  I really appreciate the global picture and I picked it up earlier in our conversation.  Presenting the question helped immensely; I think it will help all of us to give this some thought and some planning.

 

Do the deceased experience sorrow?

 

Vicki:  I’m going to get into some questions that are less global, again.  Monjoronson, do our deceased loved ones experience sorrow over the abrupt ending of their material lives?

 

MONJORONSON:  No, they do not.  What they feel is oftentimes is like they wake up to a non-sequitur.  There is a very distinct disjuncture from their prior experiences.  Their state of existence is so abruptly changed from the past that sorrow is not one of them.  Sorrow indicates a disappointment or loss of attachment, whereas when a person is deceased and becomes aware—and many do not become aware that they are deceased for some time—that when they become aware of their existence, they know it is separate and apart from that which was, and that they take great joy and awe in their next few steps of this journey.  It is one of wonderment and joy. There is a wonderment in the inexplicable, the unknown, but delightful passage forward that they are underway.

 

Vicki:  When they see us in our sorrow, they do not cry or suffer with us, is that correct?

 

MONJORONSON:  That is correct, though they are saddened that you are saddened.  There is a reflection in them of your sorrow, and that they truly wish you to understand the joy of their new existence.  Many who are left behind feel the sorrow of the loss, do not appreciate the awe, joy and wonderment of the one who has gone. Truly, those of you who are consciously striving to grow spiritually and broaden your understanding of your place in the universe are preparing yourselves for a conscious and easy passage into the afterlife.  We speak of those who die of natural causes or easily, as opposed to those who lose their life suddenly, as in accidents, and so on. Some of those are prepared for that, but few are. 

 

The conscious death is one that is magnificent and the person who has been in the process of dying is able to easily move through this thinner and thinner veil of consciousness to the other side, without loss of their own consciousness.  This truly is very similar to the passage of those in worlds which are much more advanced and approach the days of light and life.  Conscious passage through the veil of death is a wonderful experience for those who experience it.  I hope this helps.

 

Vicki:  Yes, it does.  I have questions that I hesitate to ask, about my husband’s death.  I consider that to be very sacred and private, so I don’t know whether to ask the questions or not. 

 

MONJORONSON:  Proceed.  You are welcome to ask the questions, as each one of you will die, and some will be unique, though the commonalities of all would indicate that few are truly unique.  It is your choice.

 

The passage from mortal consciousness to morontial consciousness

 

Vicki:  Okay.  I just wondered if he had somewhat of a spiritual, easy, cross over?

 

MONJORONSON:  Oh yes!  It was almost premeditated. 

 

Vicki:  It appeared that he had passed during meditation, or shortly after.  Monjoronson, can you speak to that?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, your beloved one did truly pass easily and consciously, though his eyes were closed and he had come to a position of rest, he was in possession of his consciousness throughout this period of experience.  It is as though he had a ‘power outage’ where the lights went out, and then the lights went back on again, and this marked the passage of mortal consciousness to morontial consciousness.

 

Vicki:  All right, so there was no suffering then, it sounds like.

 

MONJORONSON:  No, there was no suffering for him; he had chosen how he wished to die long ago, when he was much younger, and this was enacted for him, with him.

 

Does one choose the time of death?

 

Vicki:  That leads me to another question that I have, and that is that I believe Daniel received a bit of information for me on this, but I thought for the audience, it might be important to revisit.  Apart from accidents in time, does one choose their time of death?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, this is an agreed upon development between the soul, personality of the individual and the Thought Adjuster.  This is a three-way decision that is made.  There is the arrangement for the completion of the course of one’s life, the learning of lessons and that of being of service.  Truly mature souls understand this before they come to this lifetime, and as they grow in their development, they re-establish that agreement [and] choose to live with intention and they choose to die with intention.  [See section on “young and old souls” in Special Session #9, Mar. 29, 2010]

 

The truly evolved individual makes the intention to live as long as they can learn lessons and be of service to others, and once that has occurred, they choose to exit this lifetime.  You have seen very often in friends, families and acquaintances, those whose life seems to have come to completion and they cross over.  Their work is done; they have finished the course of their life, the race is done, and so they cross the finish line and move on. 

 

Yes, this is intentional and it becomes much more peaceful, as exampled by your husband, Michael, that he truly was an advanced soul and had chosen when and where and how to cross over.  There was what you might call “a signing off on this by all parties of his lifetime,” so that it was made easily and in completion.  The preparations were more evident for him in the last few years, as the time grew closer, and to assist you in preparing for this time.  There is a service to others, even in death, and that is to teach those who remain something about the aspects and the facts of life, rather than the facts of death.

 

Vicki:  Oh, thank you for that insight! 

 

Energetic bonds of shared consciousness between loved ones

 

Vicki:  Monjoronson, I’m going to refer back to this question about our perception of how the deceased are feeling, I feel needs some clarification.  Some people feel the deceased are held back by the suffering of those that are living, and that if the living are suffering so badly and cannot move away from their grief, that they stand in the way of the deceased from moving on.  Is there truth to that?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, there truly is truth to that, that the energetic bonds of shared consciousness between loved ones, those who are living and those who have just crossed, can be of such extent as to attach themselves or to capture them in this emotional, energetic energy.  It is most unfortunate that they do so, as it is most selfish and deprives the deceased of an easy passage into the afterlife, and that the one who has just passed, their attention is focused upon the energy of the grieving, rather than upon the light, which is over their shoulder, so to speak, and drawing them to cross over fully into the morontial afterlife.

 

Vicki:  Many people feel or claim they’ve received contact with their loved ones, following their death.  If this is indeed valid, in what ways may we receive this contact?

 

MONJORONSON:  I will affirm that it does occur, but I withhold full disclosure of why and when and how this can occur, as we do not wish you to confuse those who are recently crossed over.  There is too much neediness on the part of those who remain to give you full understanding of this process.  Truly, we wish you to see the event of death as a time of clear crossing, without interference, one in which there is the anticipation of eventual reunion in the afterlife.

 

Vicki:  A similar question that people often refer to is, does the one who passed have the opportunity to watch the viewing and funeral services given in memory of them?

 

MONJORONSON:  There are occasions when this occurs, as this is a parting act of service to those who remain.  Were those who remain in the viewing or at the memorial service, were they open to engage the presence of the one who has crossed over, they would be in far deeper appreciation of what has occurred, and that would empower the deceased to be of last and lasting service to those individuals in understanding the process of death, dying and crossing over.  Truly there are parting glances, there are parting sayings, there are parting words from the deceased to the living that are shared, and truly most always it is, “Do not grieve for me.”

 

Vicki:  Are those who have passed allowed a glimpse into the lives of their loved ones, periodically as they grow and change through the years, after their death?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, this is something which is attached to the morontial existence, a bit of “knowing.”  There is not a policy against this, though we discourage those who are deceased from returning and interfering in the natural course of events.  Sometimes there are individuals who have important work in their life to do for themselves or for others, and they are given insights or “Ah-ha’s” about that for a clear board of options, for their choosing, for action.  What midwayers do, and those who are deceased do when they come to assist in this is to present you with more options for living more productive, more cooperative, effective options for living.  Many of you are blind to the options of life, and have only need to know the options, with the understanding that you already have the intelligence to choose the right option for action.  As we said, we do not work against this, nor do we support it. 

 

There are occasions when those in the afterlife are of strong opinion, so to speak, and choose to take action on their own, independently.  As I have mentioned in the past, this is an area which causes great concern among the living, and which we strive to obscure when it would lead to greater confusion.  Certainly you will understand this more thoroughly as you study mortal death and dying in the morontial realm, as a field of understanding the very broad spectrum of spiritual life and living in the morontial realms, and those which are in-between the mortal and the morontial. 

 

Harmful beliefs of ‘spiritism’ are detrimental to spiritual growth

 

The great confusion that your world has about this realm of spiritual entities has caused great difficulty for many, and has led to inappropriate beliefs of the occult, both positively and negatively.  Harmful beliefs of ‘spiritism’ are highly detrimental to an organized, effective life of spiritual growth.  Too much occupation and thought has been spent upon this realm, which is only a “bus stop” on the way to the morontial realm, after mortal life.  Too many efforts, too many movies, too many stories and novels have been spent dealing with this mysterious realm, though I would be glad to explain this in more detail at a future time, for your greater clarity.  We would be glad to go into great specifics, if you wish; now is not the time.

 

Vicki:  Thank you, Monjoronson, I agree.  You know, Monjoronson, I was an active participant in the planning of my husband’s memorial event, although I had tremendous help, I did probably more delegation than anything, but in doing so, I really found comfort from the immediate shock and the grief, and it brought to mind, how others have experience grieving, that are close to me.  Though we all have different needs at this time, we weren’t meant to be ‘islands’.  Would you agree with that?

 

MONJORONSON:  Most definitely.  Yes.

 

Vicki:  So my question is about isolation, and I’m asking, can isolation impede the healing process of grief?

Social grieving is necessary, but should not be taken to extremes

 

MONJORONSON:  Very definitely, it can.  Humans are social creatures and they receive their validation for who they are, what they are, what they feel, and what they know from others.  It is important that you grieve with others, that this be a shared experience, so that you know that you know, that this era is real, it marks a passage of time, and the completion of events, and that you have done socially what is necessary for your own individual personal and emotional clearing and healing.  Social grieving is important, though it has been taken to far extremes in some cultures, and to the detriment of those who remain.  Good grieving is authentic, it is genuine, it is heartfelt, it is spiritized for the individual, but it is something that eventually comes to completion and it is time to move on, but it does need to be done and is done best with others.

 

Vicki:  Are there any other tips, that you may wish to offer us that will help us, when we are grieving?

 

Turning sorrows to remembrances of joy

 

MONJORONSON:  There are the everyday sorrows that you will feel:  The time across the coffee table or breakfast table in the morning, to the turning out the lights at night together.  There are those little remembrances, which will cause much grief and difficulty for you, and it is best to engage all of these events from the joy that they gave you, and the joy that you remember, rather than the loss that you suffer.  This way you will fill your life with good remembrances and of joys and of shared experiences, rather than the selfish grieving that many have after this time.

 

Vicki:  Thank you.  I can certainly relate to that one.  I’d like to talk a little bit about giving and receiving, Monjoronson, because roles will change at this time, and we mortals struggle with the shifting of the gears.  I guess I’m primarily referring to it being difficult to shift from being a giver to being a receiver, and vice versa.  I also struggle with this in my grief, feeling that I am a burden to others.  Could you comment on this?

 

Giving and receiving with grace

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, I will be most glad to.  Those are natural feelings of a well balanced personality; one who has a well balanced emotional sphere.  There is a time for giving, and there is a time for receiving, and also know that in the receiving, you are assisting others in understanding the role of receiving, for they too will surely go through this.  Receive with grace would be my advice.  You have given with grace, now receive with grace, and understand that you by receiving grace, you are a living model for those who will also grieve your passage when you leave; that you will have provided them with a model for receiving appropriately, and not extensively or for great duration, but as is necessary for you to go on your way to pick up the pieces and resume your life again—changed, but still resumed.

 

Vicki:  It has been suggested to me that stress played a significant role in the death of my husband.  What do you advise to others when they experience long-term, stressful situations in the future?

 

Stress is caused by living in the past or the future, rather than in the ‘now’

 

MONJORONSON:  As your philosophers and spiritual teachers, and we have said over and over again, live in the ‘now.’  Stress is caused by living in the past or in the future, rather than in the now.  Live in the now and you are taken care of; you can do nothing about the past, and the future is a shared experience to be co-creatively brought into existence, when you trust and engage the faith that you have to be a living faith.  Stress is concern about what you cannot control, and truly, when you live with God day-by-day, moment-by-moment, you know who truly is in charge, and it is not ‘you.’ 

 

Living with ongoing, enduring stress is truly detrimental to your physical body, and does prepare the way for early passage.  Lives that are under stress deteriorate much more rapidly as there is a toxic energy in the individual, which works against the body mechanism.  Truly the body can only live in the now, and when the mind struggles with the past and the future, then the body, which lives in the now, suffers.

 

Vicki:  Some in the Mayan culture claim that during ancient times, when past catastrophic events occurred, fear was a major killer.  Was this a valid assumption?

 

MONJORONSON:  Very much so.  Fear is a great stressor.

 

Vicki:  So in the midst of catastrophe, many will experience fear.  I see this ability to control fear as something that you need to prepare yourself for ahead of time.  What advice can you give us to alleviate that fear?

 

MONJORONSON:  Well, dear one, you have answered your question, have you not?

 

Dealing with negative emotions

 

Vicki:  (Laughing)  That’s what I was wondering!   The negative emotions of anger, resentment, vengeance, guilt, and shame seem to surface more frequently in those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.  Could you speak to this?

 

MONJORONSON:  Most definitely.  And this situation was addressed by Elizabeth Kübler Ross in her book, “Death and Dying.”  That these emotions surface because of the loss of a loved one, that inexplicitly this individual is no longer there, as though they had abdicated willfully and intentionally their lifetime, and from the one who is left.  There is a sense of betrayal; there is a sense of neglect and a loss of commitment  by the one who is left.  Various interpretations run through their mind about the causes of that, and then there is the emotional reaction to those and that situation.  So these negative emotions are part of the emotional roller coaster that loved ones feel when they are left behind.  It is a natural, emotional developmental process: it is one to be appreciated; it is one to be accepted, knowing that tomorrow is another day and you will feel differently, and eventually these thoughts of betrayal and of loss will resurface as feelings of long-term commitment, love, loyalty and appreciation.

 

Vicki:  I’d just like to say at this point, Monjoronson, I’ve noticed tremendous transformations in people that were close to me through this recent grieving process.  I saw those who I had shared these Q & A sessions with coming on board with a new sense of acknowledgement and belief, and I saw tremendous movement of unity toward one another.  I don’t know if you want to comment on that, but I felt that it was so beautiful!  These insights were coming to me quickly and very early in the process, and as I watched this growth occur around me, I felt it should be part of our session today.

 

Plans to aid humans during cataclysms and deaths

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, you are correct in your assessment and your analysis of what occurred.  This is a small example of what we are planning for your global population as it experiences these cataclysms, which decimate your global population, that those who remain will acknowledge and understand that there is a benevolent, pervasive, enduring, permanent commitment to them, to assist them in reclaiming their world, that the good news of this era is that there is oneness, and in oneness there is strength.  Acknowledging that there is something more to life than just the next big movie or the next big game on television, or the next car; that you will find that work that you are doing, and the work of other light workers, whether they are of the Teaching Mission, Magisterial Mission, or the many hundreds of other spiritually infused movements around the world, there will be acknowledgement that there is reason and purpose among them, and that it is time to now bring about the conscious evolution of your world.  We are striving to assist you and your friends, whether they are your neighbors or your family, or your associates, in coming to awareness that ‘we are legitimate’ and that we have perspectives for your world, which no mortal has capacity to appreciate or effectively express in their world.  Do you understand?

 

Vicki:  I do; I do, and that’s what I saw, people—not many, a few—experiencing legitimacy; at least questioning their doubt, and I could just see that this event, the death of my husband was bringing tremendous transformation for the “good,” to many people.

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, those who come together with this common intention will survive, while those who remain apart and live separate, will have tremendous difficulty, whether in this small situation or in the larger situation of your world.

 

Vicki:  Thank you; that was a great insight for us in the future.

 

[I really liked, Daniel, the way Monjoronson is tying this into a future event, because it gives us some direction and some thought, in terms of our planning, don’t you think?

 

Daniel:  Oh, most definitely!   As he said just a little bit earlier, that they had intentionally engaged you, because of your personal capabilities, and because of the approaching death of your husband, and that this offered a tremendous opportunity for much wisdom sharing, lesson giving, and vicariously preparing for the larger global work that will be done.  It is all very intentional.  Michael’s death wasn’t scripted, but they knew that it was coming, and they took advantage of it.

 

Vicki:  Exactly.  The more I’m involved in this process, validating and legitimizing their spirit presence and influence for myself, the more I realize that things are well planned.  I guess that’s all I can say.

 

Need for humor at tragic times

 

Vicki:  Monjoronson, though this may seem a bit out of the ordinary, there have been times when humor provided a wonderful relief for me in the last couple of weeks.  As you probably already know, I have been blessed with a family who can be somewhat irreverent at times, but who share much humor together.  It had a tremendous healing effect upon me.  Would you like to speak to this?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, many philosophers have spoken about the value of mirth and humor in difficult times, that it provides a segue, a transition between events.  It removes you completely from the tragedy into the comic, and that you are able to appreciate your situation in much different terms.  It is not that you are making light of it, but that you see it in a much different way, and this is perhaps one of the healthiest aspects of the human psyche that you have.  On this planet you have the quirky sense of humor, which few other planets experience, and that you have a survivability, which has been enhanced by your humor—or even made possible because of your humor.

 

Vicki:  And of course my sister, who is with me here, and has been by my side through all of this, and I am so grateful for her, is pretty gifted in this.  So I’ve been fortunate enough to have that experience

 

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” (Khalil Gibran)

 

Vicki:  I have one more question or comment, and it is about “moving on.”  In his book, the author, Khalil Gibran, suggested to couples in relationships, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.”  This has been a guiding piece of wisdom that my husband and I have grown into, as our relationship matured.  And now, in facing this grieving period and loss, I’m thinking that this may serve me in my ability to move on.  Could you comment on this?

 

MONJORONSON:  Yes, you and your husband had a wonderfully healthy and developing relationship by having those spaces, those open times where you were not in constant contact, where you gave each other permission to be apart, and knowing that in your being apart you were not at a loss without the other, that you were not rejected, but that you were given opportunity to experience yourself, as yourself, out of relationship, but knowing that the relationship was safe, otherwise.  You do not need to worry about this, or concern yourself.  Know that Michael in many ways has now given you a final open space in which you can fully explore yourself to the utmost.  You have a permission to now know yourself in ways which you did not.  Not that you need to be monastic in any way, but that you have now an opportunity for reverential reverie, a time of reverie that you can experience repeatedly, in an ongoing way.  Know that his support is with you; know that you are given support by your unseen helpers in ways which are also intimate and distant.  Enjoy these and take advantage of the contact as you wish.

 

Vicki:  Thank you, Monjoronson, and unless you have anything else you’d like to add, I merely want to tell you, this was quite a session.  I am so tremendously grateful for your presence and I will continue to seek it.  Thank you so much for these thoughtful conversations.  I feel honored to be a part of your global mission and in heralding your presence on our planet.

 

MONJORONSON:  We are very pleased that you had the courage to engage us today in these questions, and listen to the answers.  This provides you with a much more solid basis for moving ahead.  It also speaks to the trust that you have in us, as a group, and as an extended material/immaterial family, that this trust expresses itself during times of grief, as well as in times of joy, and that truly, there is no separation between us.  Thank you and good day.

 

Vicki:  Thank you.

 

END