What neighborhood are you from?
Northeast Ohio Barbie Dolls
This princess Barbie is only sold at Legacy
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus,
a long-haired foreign dog named
Honey and a huge, mostly
unoccupied house. Available with or without tummy tuck and
face lift. Workaholic
Ken sold only in conjunction with
East 55th Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with
a 9mm handgun, a
Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy on rims with tinted windows and her
own Meth Lab kit. This model
is available after dark and can be
paid for only in cash...preferably small, untraceable bills.
you're a cop - then we don't know what you're talking
Lake Avenue Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of
a BMW sports car or
a souped up Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup,
credit card and country
club membership. Also available for
this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you
afford them anyway.
This model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a rose on
her shoulder. She has big hair,
a six pack of Bud Light and a
Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can
Kenny doll's butt when she's drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get its Confederate
bumper stickers absolutely free. This model can also be
applied to Elyria, Brunswick, Garfield Heights and Medina.
Warehouse District Barbie:
This collagen-injected, saline-implant-sporting
Barbie wears a
leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she
entertains friends at the Spy
Bar. Percocet prescription
This doll is made of actual tofu, has long
gray hair and
archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and four
cats. She prefers that you call
This doll comes in two varieties. One comes
complete with the
official "I *finally* moved out of my parents house in Rocky
River" email to her old
sorority sister, a cell phone, and she
sports clothing from the Limited and Express. She has
coifed hair (done at Charles Scott) and fresh makeup.
You may also buy the matching Jeep Cherokee and Around
Corner bar sets. Lakewood doll number 2 has black hair,
black eyeliner, 2 black leather outfits and combat boots.
comes with exchangeable body jewelry (6 piercings in all!), a
dog collar and her own issue of the
Free Times! She, too, has
optional sets of the Chamber or the Mission for purchase.
This Barbie is best friends with the newest
doll, Gay Kenneth.
She comes with a variety of outfits from corporate styles (for
her job downtown) to
club (for dancing with G.K. at Bounce).
She even has her own miniature RTA pass, because she
to work. Do not forget her pet Shih Tzu, Sasha. She
prances him around the It's It Cafe to meet Kenneth and friends
William, Preston and Marcus.
This chain-smoking, brassy-haired Barbie
comes with a pair of
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased her beer-gutted
boyfriend out of Club Dance. Her
make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in
pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise
acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that
out the back and a white see-through halter-top. Accessories
include: Five-year-old Chevy Cavalier
cassette-player for her Bon Jovi tapes, and vanity plate that
reads: HOT STUF.
This Barbie is the same model of Barbie
that was released in
1982. She comes with giant shoulder pads, dark polyester
skirt, white pantyhose,
sneakers, and a bi-level haircut.
Alternate outfit comes complete with stirrup pants, big shirt
wide belt. Lace-trimmed anklets socks extra.
This Barbie will NEVER leave the Youngstown
area, so don't
think of buying her unless you live there. I mean, why leave
Youngstown, when it has every
thing one would ever need?
This Barbie does not date Ken though, she dates the newest
line of Barbie men,
the Galucci family (includes Vito, Vinnie,
Tony and Guido). She comes dressed in a "sharp" outfit from
Southern Park Mall and will always have the latest cute
hair style. Youngstown Barbie's optional accessories include
Chevy Cavalier (her father works at Lordstown) with a YSU
bumper sticker, and a Pittsburgh Steelers